Understand the Gathering

When determining if time allows you to hit snooze once more in the morning or if you can quickly finish a task before grabbing lunch with friends, it's important to think about your arrival etiquette. Experts say your arrival etiquette time is based on what type of gathering you're attending. Brooks Daigle, the marketing and advancement director at The Sixpence Wedding and Event Space, says arrival etiquette isn't about yourself, but the host of the gathering.

"Arrival etiquette is about respect for your host, consideration for their planning, and courtesy to the broader party by allowing the agenda to flow as designed," Daigle says.

Social Events Offer a Grace Period

A social event is any type of gathering where the purpose is to socialize, celebrate, and build connections with other people. Examples of social events are happy hours, picnics, potlucks, and parties. According to Daigle, social events are more casual in nature, so they have more relaxed times of arrival and departure, so you should be in the clear if you're running late.

Lisa Mirza Grotts, etiquette expert, author, and public speaker, says other social events with lots of people coming and going allow for more inconspicuous arrivals and departures. "[Arriving late to] cocktail parties or large receptions with a 10-15 minute grace period won’t be noticed," Grotts says.

Formal Events Require Punctuality

Compared to social events, formal gatherings, like ceremonies, performances, appointments, and black-tie events, operate on much stricter schedules. While social events have some leniency when it comes to arrival times, formal events require prompt arrival times. Grotts says arriving late to formal events with a set starting time disrespects the host, disrupts the event's flow, and inconveniences others.

Jo Hayes, etiquette expert and consultant, says you should always plan to be early for gatherings, especially formal events. She advises being 5-10 minutes early to gatherings to allow time for unexpected roadblocks or tasks.

"Even if I’m sitting in the car for a few minutes, I’ve allowed margin time for any 'unexpecteds', and, life being life, 'unexpecteds' happen frequently," she says. Hayes says if you allow yourself a few minutes of margin, you will arrive calm and collected instead of rushed and stressed.

The Bottom Line: Respect Your Host's Time

While casual, social gatherings allow for more relaxed arrival and departure times, formal gatherings often have strict schedules that include firm start times. It's best practice to arrive on time or 5-10 minutes early to social and formal gatherings. Even if your host doesn't mind if guests run late, giving yourself extra time before events will help you to feel more collected rather than rushed.

If you're meeting a group at a restaurant, or if the host is directly preparing the food, arriving late can inconvenience the entire group. "Time is the one gift you can’t get back, so use it wisely," Grotts says. "Respecting others’ time is an unspoken sign of good manners."