In Conversation with Alexander Widener

Q: How did you decide to make the leap and quit your job to move to Maine and open the shop?

A: I decided one day: I’m going for joy. And I just started looking for it. And, you know, you’ll find joy isn’t a permanent thing. It’s in little moments, and the little moments start to build up. You start to collect them. And it took me a long time to figure it out, but it changed my life.

Q: In theory, leading with joy is great. In practice, it’s a bit difficult. How did you actually implement this philosophy?

A: The thing that I value most about myself is that I have an innate curiosity. And I think we all have curiosity. To me, that’s the most important thing. I want to learn something every day. The more you start to learn, your brain will start to work, and you’ll start to find out what makes you tick and what makes you excited. Once you have a few little things that make you get that little feeling, you can start exploring them and see what feels right.

Q: How would you describe your design style?

A: People always ask me, ‘How do you decorate a room? How do you pick stuff?’ Well, you don’t pick stuff. You buy things that make you feel something. If you love something, and then you love another thing, and then you love another thing, and you put them all together, they’re gonna work because they’re connected by a common thread, which is that you love it and it’s in your space.

Q: If there was an 'Alexander Widener' aesthetic, what would it be?

A: People love to mix old and new. I just kind of mix old and old. Most of all, I think what I’m going for is happy. Joy. I want a room to feel good when you walk into it. It’s not about how it looks, it’s really about how it feels.

Q: How can you tell if an antique is quality?

A: I’m really driven by natural materials. I think what the world gives us is the best of the best. I like to see signs of hand in pieces. If you can see where someone cut a dovetail for a drawer or if you have an antique quilt and the squares don’t line up perfectly, that’s a piece that that person left behind of himself. I feel energy in stuff when I pick it up, which sounds like Gwyneth Paltrow woo-woo. But I live in Maine now, so I may be a little woo-woo.

Q: Any advice for beginners who love the idea of antiquing but don’t know how to start?

A: I would say you need two things to have a collection. So, buy two of anything, and you're a collector. In our world of instant gratification, we want to order everything online, but if you want to start learning about antiques, you have to do it in person.

Q: What are your tips on finding and learning about the best antiques?

A: Everyone wants to know where I source things and how I know what's what, and here's my advice: you need to go out and shop in person! Talk to dealers. Ask questions. I never buy something without asking a dealer where it came from or what they know about it. We all [antique dealers] have a love for these things—we want them to live on into the next generation. It’s your job to soak up as much information as possible.

Buy what you love and keep buying what you love. Flip things over, touch them, smell them. Once you’ve done it a bunch of times, you’ll start to be able to see what you’re looking for.

Q: Are you in the camp of people who don’t save china for special occasions?

A: Every day is an occasion. My brother died when I was young. Life is that short. Use the silver. Drink out of a 19th-century glass. You might not have the chance again. That was also my philosophy coming here and restarting my life. I had this opportunity in front of me. I could either do it now or save it for later. If I save it for later, it might not ever happen. And so I had to do it now. And I’m so glad that I did. It’s really freaking scary. But it’s been the best thing that I’ve ever done in my entire life.

Q: What's an object you will always buy more of?

A: A basket. We just walked across the street, got sandwiches, and put them in a basket. Didn’t it make you feel better? That’s what living is about. That’s what life is about—making little moments for yourself. There’s so much going on in the world. We can’t control any of that. But we can control how we carry our sandwiches across the street. And if you can make it a little bit better, then life becomes a little bit better.

Q: What’s one thing everyone can do to practice leading with joy?

A: This sounds so cheesy, but I'm someone who stops and smells flowers. I've made my husband pull over on the side of the road so I can go and smell a flower. And it makes life so much better. It doesn't cost anything, but it makes you appreciate things. It also makes you notice differences. Every rose smells different, like pink roses and yellow roses have totally different smells. The yellow ones are often very sweet. And if you don't smell them all, you'll never know the difference.

Q: That feels like a larger analogy.

A: I think it is. But it doesn't have to be. It can just be. You can just start by smelling flowers.